I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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