Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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