chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
