did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
