I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize