Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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