My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
