you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
