Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize