He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
