yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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