Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize