I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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