i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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