I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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