U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
