worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize