Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
