let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
