Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
