They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
