...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
