drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize