I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
