I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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