But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
