we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
