Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
