It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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