Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
