After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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