escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
