Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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