Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
