Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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