before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
