so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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