I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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