There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
