I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
