apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
