In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
