I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
