so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I touched a dick in church today
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
