so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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