SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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