I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
