Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
