Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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