the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
