I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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