you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
