You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
