ugly people sure do ruin things
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
