I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
