The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
