This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
