no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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